Although it has not been much time since I gave birth, I can say that the first few weeks postpartum would not have been possible without my partner’s unwavering support. The reality of the situation is that although moms need to recover physically and emotionally, having a supportive partner can make all the difference.
The Rollercoaster of Emotions and Physical Changes
After giving birth, I was overwhelmed by a whirlwind of emotions. I had feelings of anxiety, uncertainty, exhaustion, and many moments of pure joy. The physical recovery was more challenging than I expected. I had a difficult time being patient with myself and actually taking the time to rest. Thankfully, my partner stepped up to the plate and kept supporting me and encouraging me to stay in bed and recover. My partner was there every single night feeding, and remained calm and patient with me as I went through the fog of hormonal changes and sleep deprivation.
Why Emotional Support Matters
Physical support is incredibly important, but emotional support is what keeps you going when you feel like you’ve hit a wall. To this day, I have many times when I question myself. I ask myself-am I doing enough as a parent, am i making the right choices? In those moments, my partner was my anchor. He reassured me with words and actions by picking up extra chores around the house and checking in with me constantly asking me how I feel and how he could better support me. He checked in even though there was so much commotion the first few weeks and it made all the difference.
Connection
I think people forget that the postpartum period isn’t just a time for the mother to recover; it’s a time for both parents to adjust to a new dynamic in their relationship. My partner’s active involvement, whether it was helping with diaper changes, cooking meals, or simply offering a listening ear, alleviated a lot of the pressure that might have otherwise felt isolating at the time. Co-parenting also allowed my partner to gain a deeper connection with our child and with me.
What to Do When Your Partner Is Not Available
Unfortunately, There were times during my postpartum journey when my partner couldn’t be there as much as I needed them to be. He was physically pulled away from us due to an unfortunate family emergency. White it was not easy, it taught me to rely on my own strength and seek support from nearby family and friends. I learned that there is no shame in needing help, and reaching out to someone for a couple hours of support whether it be to watch the baby or just listen to me blabber to get my mind off things.
Another strategy I found helpful was establishing a self-care routine for those times when my partner wasn’t around. I often practiced deep breathing and meditation while my partner was away and while the weather was nice, I went out for a quick walk. I made a point of creating a support network with other new parents which led me to reconnecting with some old college friends who now had children of their own. Connecting with others who understood exactly what I was going through, even if we didn’t see each other face-to-face, helped alleviate feelings of isolation and reinforced the idea that I wasn’t alone, even if my partner couldn’t always be by my side.
The Long-Term Impact of Postpartum Support
Looking back to the first five weeks, I can see how the postpartum period shaped not only our relationship but also my own sense of well-being. His support not only helped me survive but also allowed us to learn about each other as a team. It was of course not all butterflies and rainbows, we continue to lean on each other as we navigate through each phase of our child but the foundation was set when we supported one another at the beginning. This foundation, I believe, will allow us to get through any challenge we are faced with in the future.
So, if you’re in the postpartum phase, or preparing for it, it is imperative to take some time to not only think about physical and emotional recovery but to talk to your partner and establish how they can support you best. It truly can make all the difference in the world. It could be as simple as leaning an ear when you are feeling lost, helping with night feeds and diaper changes or offering kind words when needed. As you work together, you will become more united and stronger than ever.
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